While picking my cat (Felix-The Chief Nap Enforcer) up from the vet the other day I had an interesting chat with the Doctor who has helped several of my critters over the past few years. Our discussion was around Felix gaining weight primarily and how that is a good thing given how much weight he had lost. Then I raised the issue of hair balls and of course the vomit that produces these hair balls.
My concern centers more around how awful vomiting actually is and how that must be a terrible feeling for the cat or dog that has to barf. After all, if you have ever had to vomit for any reason you know the heaving, the gagging and the result are all extremely unpleasant. Last year I swear I had some kind of food poisoning that resulted in vomiting so hard that I had to get a chiropractic adjustment on my ribs. Seriously, it was that dang bad.
Anyway, we discussed the idea that dogs eat grass because “dogs want to vomit.” Hold it right there! I declared that “want to” and “vomit” absolutely do not belong in the same sentence. We agreed that NO ONE actually “wants to vomit” although there are times that afterwards we may feel better after that event.
Many people have asked me why I “want to” work in the arena of hoarding and at first I had no real answer to that. Who “wants” to walk into a house strewn with tons of stuff? Who willingly walks right into the eye of the storm? Who really wants to pull on rubber gloves, a hazmat suit and a pink mask to avoid breathing in mold, dust, allergens or sometimes essence of numerous pets?
What I have come to realize is that this isn’t about “want to.” It’s about speaking up because I know too much to be silent. It’s about shining a light on a scary space where people are afraid that their lives will be interrupted by any change in the status quo. It is about seeing the people for who they really are. It’s about helping kids and families and people release themselves from the chaos.
Ultimately it isn’t so much that I “want to.” It’s about I need to. I have to. I am compelled to. That this work is in alignment for me because I know what it’s like to be the kid that doesn’t fit in. The kid who doesn’t invite friends over. The sense of never belonging no matter where you go because you know you can never reciprocate with a sleep over. It’s about being really aware of the ways that hoarding impacts everyone.
It turns out this thing called hoarding is something I avoided and never wanted to talk about. But the thing is; IT IS THE THING.
The thing I have to face head on and talk about. The thing that I struggle with and try to find solutions for as a survivor of a hoarded home. THE THING is the reason I have become the voice of #AKOPTH (Adult Kids of Parents That Hoard) because we need to be heard and acknowledged for the hell we have managed to survive.
So I plan to keep moving forward, despite the fact that I “want to” has ceased to be part of the equation.
Where are you on the “want to o-meter?” Is there something you still need to be doing even if you “don’t want to?” You may find that there are more compelling reasons that push you forward into doing your greatest good yet!
Keep Going Darlings!
P.S. Join us in Extreme Self Worth! You know you want to celebrate amazing you!