As the #AKOPTH, Adult Kid of Parents That Hoard there are a number of things that we become grateful for.
They may seem odd or random or down right weird as heck.
In truth, the reality is that I have much to be grateful for. Even though the hoarding situation for my parent is about to reach a crisis point requiring intervention of a magnitude I don’t really want to imagine.
IF you happen to be an #AKOPTH or a friend or family member of someone that hoards, please know that you are not alone. THERE ARE people who get it. Who understand the pain and emotion and fatigue. If you know about this issue, you may also find yourself being grateful for the things in this article.
Today, this is my main consolation regarding the situation: The rodents ARE NOT in the primary living space. They haven’t moved into the camper where my parent primarily “lives.” The rodents are happily destroying the old house instead.
Here are a few other things I have learned to be grateful for on the road of being an #AKOPTH:
- When the person refuses assistance and eventually the person that hoards is physically removed by Emergency Personnel.
- Emergency folks report the conditions of the residence and you are so grateful that someone else sees the situation!
- The person is placed in the hospital for care.
- They get a good meal and their meds get regulated and for the first time in years, they rest on a clean bed.
- The parent is then transferred to a nursing facility so that they will continue to get the care they need.
- Being in a clean, secure environment allows for them to actually live, socialize and navigate safely in their living situation.
- You can potentially actually stop by to visit in the new location. You might get to sit in a chair or eat a meal with them at a table.
- You get to relax a bit, knowing that they won’t fall into the piles of boxes and be crushed by an avalanche.
- Even if the person isn’t happy with being in a facility and begs to go home, YOU still know that it is better than what they had before. You are sad, but mostly okay with knowing they are being cared for.
- You don’t have to visit the hoarded home and perch on a stool in the doorway just to visit them, inhaling the smells and sadness of their hoard.
In the many years that I have been traveling this road, I have come across situations and had conversations I never even thought were feasible to have.
I didn’t know that one day I would wake up and be grateful that rodents don’t inhabit the camper.
I didn’t know how much relief I would feel until my Dad ended up in the hospital and I got the call that he was hospitalized. Not because going to the hospital is desirable, but that FINALLY an outside source would pay attention to his surroundings and this would bring about a much needed change.
Previous attempts to help by a church, friends, neighbors, social services were not accepted and it was only a matter of time before it reached a crisis point. Knowing that a crisis point generally MUST occur before change begins is one of the many real challenges that many #AKOPTH face.
Even though hoarding does haunt us, we keep moving forward trying to make the best of an often sad, ugly, heart wrenching scenario.
We can remain grateful for the fleeting moments of happiness we have when we connect with the person in a real way.
Tammi Moses is the founder and Chief Encouragement Officer of Homes Are For Living, LLC which is a Veteran Woman Owned & Operated business located in Oak Harbor on Whidbey Island, WA. She provides consultations, assessments and workshops on the issue of hoarding and inspiring others to take their adversity and use it for the greater good. She is the voice of #AKOPTH-Adult Kids of Parents That Hoard. You can connect with Tammi at firstname.lastname@example.org on Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.