Hoarding truly isn’t about organizing. It isn’t about “keeping what gives you joy.”
Hoarding is about hiding, shame and denial. Hoarding is about trauma, underlying unaddressed issues and how that pain is manifesting.
The issue of hoarding is about lack and the fear of never having enough.
Not enough LOVE.
Not enough MONEY.
Not enough BOUNDARIES.
In addition hoarding is about controlling everyone AROUND the hoard.
Don’t rock the apple cart.
Keep the peace at all costs.
Don’t invite your friends over.
Don’t tell anyone about the rats that eat breakfast with you at the table.
Don’t talk about the fridge so crammed with rotting, expired food that there is no room for anything edible.
Don’t mention the “goat path shimmy” that is needed to get down the hallway to the bathroom.
What about the trash that has overtaken the dining table? At what point is it acceptable to talk about that?!?
How about that expired food from 1986 that your parent trys to feed you because it “smells all right” here and NOW in 2019?
Somewhere along the way the very IDEA of mentioning the avanalanche risks and fire hazards to your parent that hoards becomes unthinkable. Why? Because hoarding isn’t rational and truly a rational discussion cannot happen in this scenario.
Like so many fellow #AKOPTH, we wait, we worry, we KNOW that something should be done.
But the parents won’t let us intervene. They refuse our help, our pleas to let us at least clean out the fridge.
We may have pushed, cajoled, threatened and promised-but all to no avail. We may have called the authorities. We may have discussed with the neighbor and the friend as to what to do. But it is then we realize that there is not much we can do.
This is the reality of hoarding. This is what many people deal with every day-
praying for a better solution to the hoarding situation.
Tammi Moses is the founder and Chief Encouragement Officer of Homes Are For Living, LLC which is a Veteran Woman Owned & Operated business located in Oak Harbor on Whidbey Island, WA. She provides consultations, assessments and workshops on the issue of hoarding and inspiring others to take their adversity and use it for the greater good. She is the voice of #AKOPTH-Adult Kids of Parents That Hoard. She is also a voice & advocate for #YLITH – Youth Living in The Hoard. You can connect with Tammi at firstname.lastname@example.org and on social media: Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.