It is sad to learn that I am not the only recipient of misguided advice when it comes to dealing with our parents or people that hoard.
Far too many people & entities are jumping on the bandwagon and telling family members what to do about their hoarding family members.
The problem is that these entities have not dealt with hoarding, do not recognize the mental health component involved, nor do they recognize the trauma that the family members have already been through due to the hoarding person’s behavior.
IF you do not know about hoarding, haven’t ever lived in it, successfully survived it or been trained specifically on the issues within hoarding; I don’t think you are qualified to tell us what to do about the situation.
It isn’t prudent to jump in without any awareness of what hoarding actually is. If you saw a grenade & didn’t know how to disarm it, would you attempt to do so?
Several years ago I personally received a letter from a church my parents attended outlining the actions they thought I should take. Up to & including a forced clean out. They also included a line about how I was the only one “legally” able to do anything about the hoarded situation.
After numerous conversations with several people, including a call to the local Sheriff it was determined that technically, LEGALLY there wasn’t a thing I could do about my parents & their hoarding.
My parents owned the property & were choosing to live in a hoarded home, infested with rats and little goat paths to get through the house. Had I proceeded with the recommendations from the church, it could have led down a very treacherous legal path for ME.
This whole situation highlights the serious need for education & training on the issue of hoarding. We need to discuss underlying reasons behind hoarding and the ramifications of sitting silently by because we don’t know how to properly intervene.
Are you running an organization that routinely encounters hoarding?
Do you need clear direction on how to proceed?
Let’s connect & discuss how we can get your people the training they need to help effectively!
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Tammi Moses is the founder and Chief Encouragement Officer of Homes Are For Living, LLC which is a Veteran Woman Owned & Operated business located in Oak Harbor on Whidbey Island, WA. She provides consultations, assessments and workshops on the issue of hoarding and inspiring others to take their adversity and use it for the greater good. She is the voice of #AKOPTH-Adult Kids of Parents That Hoard. She is also a voice & advocate for #YLITH – Youth Living in The Hoard. You can connect with Tammi at firstname.lastname@example.org and on social media.